Will I Be Jailed for This?

A conversation I had last night with a friend we’ll call “Sara”, who lives in San Francisco:

Me: I’m lonely and hungry. This is terrible.

Sara: Oh nooooo. That’s the worst. Go out to a bar!

Me: …it’s 11:30 on a Wednesday in Stars Hollow.

Sara: Well… not tonight then. Unless you want to get murdered.

Me: Not the ideal alternative… or the plausible one. Again: Stars Hollow.

Me: Peanut butter!

Sara: No Nutella?

Me: I don’t do that shit. It scares me and I don’t like the voices I hear in my head when I see it.

Sara: …what?

Me: To be honest, I’ve never actually had it, but I feel like it’s the Pumpkin Spiced Latte of spreads.

Sara: LMAO – yes.

Me: I’d need UGG boots and a sorority sweatshirt when I eat it and I own none of those things.

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9 Responses to Will I Be Jailed for This?

  1. Jessica says:

    You don’t like nutella? Whaaat!? Crazy 😀

    Jessica
    the.pyreflies.org

  2. Roxie says:

    Nutella tastes like chocolate, with a hint of hazelnut. If you like chocolate and/or hazelnuts, you will love Nutella!

  3. Stephanie says:

    LOL! My awful husband keeps buying the gigantic two-pack of Nutella at Costco. That stuff never makes it to a piece of bread in our house. He thinks it is cute that I cannot resist the stuff now, but wait in a few months when he is having to roll me out of the house Violet Beauregarde style.

    And these are probably fighting words in some circles, but I honestly don’t get the big deal about pumpkin spice lattes. I am from Seattle, so coffee runs in these veins of mine, but when I finally tried one last week, it was waaaaaay too sweet for me.

    • Emelie says:

      Oh yeah, I’m a black coffee addict to the max, so I’m glad you can relate. I’m just not that into the sugary stuff! Give it to me straight up. Like a real coffee drinker would do it.

  4. Ruby Manuela says:

    I know exactly what you mean! For some reason I just refuse to read John Green books because they’re so hyped up. I probably could like them, I just don’t want to. Also, I’m allergic so Nutella so you’re not the only one not eating it!

  5. Heather says:

    Oh mannn Nutella is amazing! But … we can’t have it in our house. My daughter is allergic to hazelnut. Dx

    Have you had Biscoff spread?

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