So something has been bothering me ALL DANG WEEK.
Someone asked me for “a scissor.”
As I handed the scissors to them I thought to myself, “Don’t you mean ‘a pair of scissors?'”
And then…. I spiraled.
Because a pair of scissors is really just one object, isn’t it? What even is “a scissor” anyway? When does anyone ever just get one scissor? Isn’t that just… a knife? I’ve never purchased just one scissor.
AND WHAT ABOUT PANTS? Why, oh why, are they referred to as a PAIR OF PANTS. They NEVER come separately. I realize that there are two legs that go into the making of pants, but those are just PART OF THE PANTS. THEY ARE PANT-LEGS. You never say that you need “a pair of sleeves” when you’re buying a shirt, do you? Maybe we should?
And if we go even deeper and remove the pants, we get to the weirdest one: UNDERWEAR.
SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN HOW UNDERWEAR EVEN FALLS INTO THE “PAIR” CATEGORY”
YOU NEVER LOSE ONE HALF OF YOUR UNDERWEAR IN THE DRYER.
Am I alone here?
ANYWAY — today is the perfect day to go sign up to be an Awkward Ambassador on Patreon because billing happens on the 1st, which is Sunday, and then you’ll be all set to join in the Patreon-only #SundaySupdates video! You should totally do it. It’s awesome because….
This blog is able to remain ad-free because of the awesome community of Awkward Ambassadors on Patreon. If you’d like to become an Awkward Ambassador and receive special perks (like exclusive vlogs or messages from my dog), please click here.