This Superpower is USELESS.

So a really great thing happened to me today.

I woke up and was all “Today is gonna be great!”

I made myself a full pot of coffee (duh) and some eggs and toast. I was all “Look at me go! Productivity! Real food!” I was totally ready for a day of writing blog posts and editing youtube videos for Page Break. This was going to be a great day.

The plan basically went like this:

  1. Wake up whenever your body decides to because today is your day off and you don’t need alarms!
  2. Take Gio outside to pee and play.
  3. Make coffee and a real breakfast! Yeah!
  4. Have a skype date.
  5. Start laundry.
  6. Write a blog post.
  7. Edit Page Break video and post it to YouTube.
  8. Read so many books or finish season 2 of Orange is the New Black, depending on your mood.
  9. Go to a party for writers at the library! Wooo!!!

Talk about a great day, am I right?

I was doing so well, you guys. Everything was going according to plan. Until right after the skype date.

First it started with a slight headache, which then turned into a major migraine, and this baby did not show up alone. It brought along its friends, Nausea and Dizziness, to come and play!

Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m all for a party, but this was not on my list. I like to stick to my lists.

To make matters worse, Fever decided to show up about an hour later. I guess his friends texted him and were all “Emelie’s head is so much fun! Come play!!” and he was all “No way! I love that place! I’ll be there as soon as I’m done with this game of tag at a child’s birthday party!” (Side note: Fever sounds like a real friggin’ creeper, doesn’t he?)

Why did this happen, you ask? Well, it’s pretty simple really: I have this issue with my spine: I was born with 1.5 extra vertebrae. When the doctor told me about this, I was all “I knew it. I’m a super hero. Where’s the nearest major crime scene? I shall save EVERYONE.”

Turns out it’s a lot less awesome then one would think. Most days it just means that I have to concentrate on my posture a little more and that if I don’t do my yoga, I’ll regret it only slightly. I should also be seeing a chiropractor on a regular basis, but I haven’t looked for one found one out here yet.

The really terrible part comes on days like today: Rainy days. Not all rainy days. Thunderstorms have no effect on me, which is great because I love thunderstorms. It’s the days when rain is just kind of hanging in the air. Those overcast days where you’re just like “WOULD YOU JUST RAIN ALREADY?!” Those days make my spine freak the heck out and then everything tenses up and it all concentrates on the right side of my neck and shoulder, which then disturbs this one nerve that runs from the base of your skull to right behind your eye and that’s where the migraine feels most comfy. I don’t know, maybe it’s the spot in my head with the best view or the best couch or something. All I know is that it’s like seven different ways of terrible.

So, because of this slight interruption in my day, my list was revised and looks like this:

  1. Untitled design (2)Wake up whenever your body decides to because today is your day off and you don’t need alarms! (check!)
  2. Take Gio outside to pee and play. (check!)
  3. Make coffee and a real breakfast! Yeah! (check!)
  4. Have a skype date. (check!)
  5. Start laundry. Get hit by a bus full of awful.
  6. Write a blog post. Spend some time shakily going from your bed to the bathroom, praying that you don’t puke everywhere.
  7. Edit Page Break video and post it YouTube. Be unable to swallow any pain meds without them coming back up.
  8. Read so many books or finish season 2 of Orange is the New Black, depending on your mood.  Vow to destroy every vehicle that drives SO EFFING LOUDLY PAST YOUR HOUSE.
  9. Go to a party for writers at the library! Wooo!!!  Finally stomach some Advil and water and fall asleep for some amount of hours, which probably could have been half an Orange is the New Black marathon.
  10. Wake up and find that Migraine thinks naps are lame, so he left, but he also took all my food and energy. That douche.

So yeah… that’s when I decided to pull out my laptop and finally manage to stare at a bright screen again (with the brightness down to the lowest level possible without blacking it out completely) so that I could write to you all. Because getting this post up is more important than soup.

That and I have no soup.

UPDATE: I finished writing this blog post and was about to start proofreading when the dog puked behind the couch. I don’t know if sympathy puking is a thing, but if it is, he’s kind of the best and the worst.

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21 Responses to This Superpower is USELESS.

  1. Ashley Fuchs says:

    OMG!!! Are we sisters? I don’t have extra vertebrae, but I am missing collagen. I’m like Elastigirl, only lamer. And I will JOIN your Avengers-wannabe group for genetically altered Moms. Keep up the funny stuff! It’s way cooler than crying 😉

  2. Wow, Emelie, that’s no picnic. My husband is a migraine sufferer (minus the superpowers–and the humor).
    Hope things are better tomorrow–for you and Gio!

  3. raphaela99 says:

    You poor darling! Sounds like you had an awesome day planned too. Hope you are feeling much better now. You triumphed over your day, and you blogged! xxx

  4. Phil says:

    This rainy damp weather does suck. Lots of people I know are sick from it. At least Gio gave you a sympathy puke. Unless he’s just messing with you.

    Feel better.

  5. Rachel G says:

    Oh man–that really sucks. Especially when you had such productive and happy little plans too. It’s frustrating when our bodies fail us…

  6. Michelle says:

    You are right..that is a terrible super power.

    I hope you’re feeling better now. 🙁

  7. Carrie says:

    Oh I am familiar with Bus Full of Awful, hope you’re kicking ass and taking names now!
    Carrie, the Just Mildly Medicated gal

  8. Roxie says:

    I’m so sorry you’re feeling like that! I get that, too, but instead of extra vertebrae, I have arthritic vertebrae. Waddaya gonna do, right?

  9. Xae says:

    Ghad! That really is an awful superpower.
    Sorry about your day. But hey! I love how you wrote this post and made me smile even if it is about your misery. I hope that doesn’t make me a terrible person.

  10. Kim says:

    I have back problems and a pesky sciatic nerve that loves to piss me off when it’s the least convenient. What a jerk.

    I hope you’re now feeling better and not so blah. At least you have a kick ass sense of humor to keep you going! (My lame attempt at looking at the bright side)

  11. Jessica says:

    I got a terrible migraine on my first full day of my new job last week and this post is super accurate, except I was puking at work and had to leave early.

    Also I just wanted to say that your writing is all kinds of awesome. Your internal thoughts are a lot like my internal thoughts that I sometimes say out loud and then people either think they’re funny or back away slowly.

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