Today is going to be a great day, I can tell.
First of all, I need to tell you all that Gumby got into Ohio State University’s Vet School!!!
We’re all super proud of him. In fact, I’m SO proud of him that I just had to share it with everyone via the internet. So….
So last night, a bunch of us got together for dinner to celebrate the aforementioned good news. We quickly realized that we have some very odd dinner conversations….
Gumby’s mother was telling all of us about a certain glass bottle that they had on display in their dining room. Long story short, this exact bottle isn’t supposed to actually exist, but her grandfather worked in the factory where they were made and so he stole one before they were all destroyed.
Gumby: I’ve always wanted to find other ones…
Me: Check eBay.
John Hamm: Yes, because all will eventually flow into the eBay…
Me: What? It could happen!
Gumby: Yeah, there was that one guy who found his stolen car twenty years later because the guy that stole it put it up on eBay. The dude got arrested.
Me: That must suck to be that guy… I mean, that’s a long time to think you’d finally gotten away with it.
Gumby’s Mom: Isn’t there some sort of statute of limitations on that?
Gumby (shrugging): I guess not. I mean, if you can still prove it, it’s fine. Like, with other crimes, I think the statute of limitations is relevant because the proof disappears. Like in rape and murder cases.
Me: So… the worst crimes imaginable are the ones that if you just run long enough, you’ll get away with them…
John Hamm: Well, the first 24 hours are critical in any rape situation.
Gumby’s Mom: Right. That makes sense.
Me: This is a nice dinner conversation. Congratulations, Gumby.
The weird thing is that this conversation came back up multiple times throughout that evening…