So, Greg recently went on a two week vacation. Naturally, Lemon, John Hamm and I were all very distraught about what the heck we would do while he was gone. Who would we obsess over? How could we write about Greg in our Diary if we couldn’t see him every day?
Well, we didn’t want Greg to feel like he was only loved/creeped on when he was around. Out of sight, out of mind? Heavens, no!! So we thought we would surprise him by starting a Twitter account for Dear Diary: Greg. We thought this was a great idea! Until Greg came home…
Anyway, here are the tweets from the brief yet glorious life of @DearDiaryGreg…
Dear Diary: Greg’s on vacation, but we’re on Twitter. He’ll be so surprised, Diary!!
Dear Diary: How many hats do you think Greg packed for vacation?
Dear Diary: Do you think Greg found the hidden chocolates I packed in his suitcase yet?? They were custom made to look like his hat, Diary!
Dear Diary: Do you think California will change its state bird to Greg’s hat?
Dear Diary: What if Greg buys a new hat while he’s in California? Do you think it will change him?
Dear Diary: Do you think Greg will get fresh ink in Cali? If so, do you think it will be of him riding a dolphin?
Dear Diary: I really hope Greg does ride a dolphin.
Dear Diary: What if Greg loses his hat in Cali while surfing?? Think of the lucky gust of wind/wave/dolphin that would catch it, Diary…
Dear Diary: Do you think that no one believes how great Greg is because it’s only published in tabloids and fansites?
Dear Diary: Imagine if Greg’s hat could talk. I wonder what stories Greg’s hat would tell, Diary…
Dear Diary: I had a dream that Greg told people he was going to Cali to cover up that he was visiting Curiosity on Mars! What does it mean?
Dear Diary: Whick California-based celebrities will ask for Greg’s autograph?
Dear Diary: Does Greg’s hat enable him to travel through space? What about time?
Dear Diary: Will Greg establish First Contact?? That would be awesome, Diary. He’d probably get a statue…
Dear Diary: I’m jealous of the hat. I wish I could hug Greg’s head all day… #10ThingsIMustDoBeforeIDie
Dear Diary: What do you think Greg’s hat dreams about?
Dear Diary: What if Greg is actually a Martian and his hat and tattoos are the only things that allow him to maintain human form?!
Dear Diary: What if Greg’s a Cylon and doesn’t know it?!?
Dear Diary: What if Greg’s a Cylon and he DOES know it?!?!?!?
Dear Diary: I dreamed that Greg grew a second head & the heads fought over which got to wear the hat. Then they sang karaoke. What does it mean?
Dear Diary: Greg’s been in California for over 24 hours now, how has he not won an Emmy yet?
Dear Diary: Do you think Greg is best friends with the Beach Boys by now?
Dear Diary: None of the Republican candidates speak to the issues that concern me. It’s like Greg’s height doesn’t affect policy or something…
Dear Diary: I dreamed that Greg was the last American farmer, but it was because he was a combine. What does it mean, Diary?
Dear Diary: Do you think Greg has become the star of a new TV show in Hollywood? We’ll get a cut since we made him famous… right, Diary?
Dear Diary: Do you think Greg is to California as Gulliver is to Lilliput?
Dear Diary: I’m finding myself troubled by thoughts of Greg finding new weird redheaded admirers. Am I paranoid, Diary? #Keepsmeupatnight
Dear Diary: Dreamed Greg trained sea lions at Sea World… It was awesome. The sea lions wore matching Greg hats! Could this happen for real?
Dear Diary: I haven’t gotten a postcard from Greg yet. Should I be worried?
Dear Diary: Do you think Greg’s hat got a caricature of itself while in Cali?
Dear Diary: Greg is back!!! Best day ever!!!! 😀
Dear Diary: Greg just told us to shut down the Twitter account. He seemed kind of mad… Worst day ever… 🙁
Don’t worry – now you can follow this blog on Twitter! @AwkwardlyAlive