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- I’m not even allowed to think about watching Mindhunter.
- But then I realized that it was Friday the 13th and all of this seemed normal
- It’s GIVEAWAY TIME!
- So maybe I’m not marketable.
- We can do this.
- What even is “A Scissor” anyway?
- Gym Drake is my Unicorn: A Sequel
- “SCATTER!” -My Brain.
- So… THIS HAPPENED.
- I’m probably going to go to jail soon.
Tag Archives: texting
….WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?! In equally unsettling news, #SundaySupdates, a live Q&A I do WHILST COOKING, is live and public this Sunday at 8pm! Most Sundays it’s just for the Patreon people, but the last Sunday of every month, I open it up … Continue reading
Last night, I received this text from my friend, who for privacy reasons we will call “Sara”: The guy I went out with CALLED and LEFT A MESSAGE to ask me out for a second date. Why has this never happened … Continue reading
My family has a weird way of dealing with crises on various levels. Correction: My parents have a weird way of dealing with crises on various levels. My siblings seem to do just fine with this sort of stuff. Allow … Continue reading
A conversation I had last night with a friend we’ll call “Sara”, who lives in San Francisco: Me: I’m lonely and hungry. This is terrible. Sara: Oh nooooo. That’s the worst. Go out to a bar! Me: …it’s 11:30 on … Continue reading
You know when you’re in the beginnings of a romantic interest and you do your best to make sure that the other person sees mainly all the wonderful and charming details about you? As far as you and that person … Continue reading
Mom: I just found your old bank checks that you lost a few months ago. Me: Seriously?! Where?? Mom: In a laundry hamper in the upstairs hall closet. Me: Obviously. Mom: Yeah, that makes total sense, right? I’m actually finding … Continue reading
Okay, so last night, my good friend Lemon and I were sitting at the bar having a drink when we spotted this mega attractive guy at the table behind us. Naturally, we went into creepy mode and started trying to … Continue reading