Okay, so last night I found this hilarious comedian while I was watching TV. This comedian started off his whole bit with a heavy dosage of nerd/Harry Potter humor. So, naturally, I texted Nigel, who I knew was still awake and bored.
Me: Okay, so bummer that you don’t get to enjoy the hilarity that is hanging out with me tonight, but there is a really funny stand-up comedian on TV right now. Just sayin’.
Nigel: Haha, right on, but I’m playing video games right now.
Me: Fine, but he’s doing Harry Potter/nerd humor.
Me: More like irresistible…
Nigel: I’m checking it out now.
Okay, so at this point, this comedian switched up his routine and started talking about having sex with animals.
Nigel: I expected nerd humor and I got dog f*cking. I blame you.
Me: Wait! No! There is nerd humor!!! I did not see this coming!
Nigel: Thanks. I stopped playing Super Smash Bros for this.
Me: Just give him one more chance!
Nigel: I will.
So the commercial ended and the comic kept going… it still wasn’t back to the nerd humor, but it was more decent than the bestiality jokes.
Nigel: God, thank you so much for convincing me to watch this. My life is considerably better now and I owe it all to you.
Nigel: Just a little.
Me: Whatever. You’re lame. Plus, his nerdy humor was the Trojan horse. Now he’s talking about vagina grooming and its weird.
And that’s when things got even more bizarre.
Me: Oh my gosh, did you just see that commercial about the dog tracker??
Nigel: I’m playing my game again.
Me: Okay, well it was a commercial for this GPS dog tracker, and their slogan was literally “Keep your dog off the pole.” I kid you not.
Nigel: I am so bummed I missed that.
Me: You should be. It was weird and now I have no one to revel in the strangeness with.
Nigel: Such a tragedy.
Me: It really is. P.S. This conversation is so going in my blog.
Nigel: It’s because I’m awesome.
Me: Sure. That’s why.
Nigel: The amazing Nigel they call me.
Me: I feel like you’re lying.
Happy Saturday, everyone! Now I’m off to have brunch with Pixie Stick! Yay!