Moses Parted The Red Sea So That The Little Mermaid Could Strip… To Pay Her Way Through College… Obviously.

So, um… This exists





Duckies… this is an abandoned underwater strip club.

It’s location? The Red Sea.

Whaaaaaat??? I know! Moses parted the red sea, helped his people out of Egypt, and now Ariel is stripping there. Or she was. Now that it’s been abandoned, I’m assuming that it’s the current meeting spot for many a drug deal between Flounder and his gang members.

I have so many questions, though! Like… did the strippers dress up like mermaids? If so, what did those pole tricks look like? Did they shed their fins to reveal Starfish-shaped undergarments? I’m assuming they all wore seashell bras…

Or were they dressed like scuba divers? That strip show would take a while… Have you ever tried to shed a scuba suit? Me neither, but I imagine that it takes some effort.

And how was the food? Was it all seafood or were they serving burgers? I imagine that almost everything was nautical in some way or another….

Did people protest this establishment? Were they picketing outside the windows in scuba suits with signs? Hopefully they didn’t try and chant…

Did they have a phone line? Could you call and make reservations? How was the wi-fi connection?

Can you imagine if a bar brawl broke out? What if they broke a window? Imagine the headlines…

How does one get down there? Submarine? Scuba diving?


And why was it abandoned? Did something tragic happen? Did a mermaid freak out and kill everyone? I’m assuming that someone found mermaids, captured them, and kept them here for awful strip shows.

WHAT IF THE WHOLE PLACE IS RUN BY MERMAIDS? What if it was never owned by humans at all?? What if this is the last surviving building from Atlantis?? Those perverts…

Anyway… what do you guys think?

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27 Responses to Moses Parted The Red Sea So That The Little Mermaid Could Strip… To Pay Her Way Through College… Obviously.

  1. Omg – Emelie, first of all – HILARIOUS, and secondly – yes, I actually own a wetsuit, and I can tell you this – there is NO sexy way to take it off. It’s more of a struggling, yanking, red-blotches appearing on wet-skin, exercise in frustration kind of experience. Good point about the potential disaster a broken window would bring. I’m thinking the insurance costs probably put them out of business. Hate to be the one to address the elephant in the room here, but…how did you obtain these photos? Were you there? Hmmm….

    • Hahaha – if you click on them it takes you to the album that’s on reddit! A friend of mine found it the other night while we were out grabbing drinks at a totally NON-STRIPPER establishment on dry land. I promise!

  2. sueinspain says:

    I’m so glad that I spotted your blog just above my comment in the Ultimate Blog Challenge. This is totally CRAZY!!! Where did you find out about this? Sadly, I think this is down to EU cuts and the current financial crisis. In happier times, they would still be in this rather fishy business.

  3. BWAHAHAHA That was hilarious!! I just KNEW I had to read it based on the title alone. Seriously, WHO came up with an underwater strip club?!?!

    • I don’t know, but whoever it was, I want to… well, actually, I don’t want to touch them at all, even for a congratulatory handshake… Maybe I’ll just send them an enthusiastic email.

  4. Hahahahaha.

    I feel like I need more information about this.

    And then, I feel like I want NO MORE information about this.

  5. Underwater…strip club?

    I’ll get past it and produce a sensible comment at some point, but…underwater STRIP CLUB?!?!?!

  6. You are funny and adorable. Glad I found you. And yeah–I’ll bet the mermaids totally rocked that joint until the sharks took over.

  7. filbio says:

    I’ll have whatever you’re smoking! This has to be one of your craziest posts yet. Hahaha! An underwater strip club? How do the dollar bills not float away?

  8. I went to this place in Florida that has “mermaid shows” underwater, and while they weren’t stripping, they were gyrating in front of a window wearing next-to-nothing. Meanwhile half the audience is children squealing with delight. Childhood is a confusing time. And so are mermaid shows.

  9. Peter Licari says:

    I guess they really couldn’t make it rain down there. Already pretty soaked.

    I can tell you from experience that there is no way to sexily strip out of a scuba suit. It sticks to you and refuses to let go. Like the regret of having to strip in a mermaid costume to cover college expenses…

  10. Roxie says:

    Gentlemen, put your fins together for Cat, dancing to Heart’s Barracuda, just for the Halibut! Holy Mackerel, she’s hot! Oh my Cod, what a great dancer! She’s really got Sole! But remember, no touching her Red Snapper!

  11. alisonhector says:

    This is beyond funny! That would be a strip club to visit, LOL! You truly have a gift of comedy and creative expression.

  12. My question is how do you even pay attention to the strippers? With all that sea life around you? I’d want to stare out the window the whole time. But I’m also not a man. And boobs probably trump everything.

    I guess they wouldn’t question why it smelled like fish in da club.

    Crossing the line?

    Visiting from SITS!

  13. Jean says:

    I am so confused and intrigued. Strip club underwater? This is amazing… who BUILD this? Why?!

    Dammit, Emelie, I need answers! But seriously, good one — very thought provoking. You find the coolest stuff. And the Little Mermaid would be an amazing stripper — seemed very bendy.

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