Just doin’ my job, sir.

Today a child totally called me out when I lied to him, but in my defense, he was hitting his father to an obnoxious degree (aren’t all degrees obnoxious?) and using truth and reasoning wasn’t helping.

Me: Alright kid, this has gone on long enough. We have a very strict no-hitting policy here and if you don’t stop it, I’m going to have to put you to work.

Kid: ….

Me: Cleaning our toilets.

Kid’s Dad: Ooooo… that sounds rough, dude.

Kid: No. You’re lying.

Me: What? I am not.

Kid: Yes you are.

And then we just stared at each other for a few moments until I turned my attention back to his dad.

Me: So anyway, you should totally read Ready, Player, One because it’s amazing.

Dad: Awesome, thank you!

I would like it to be noted, though, that the kid did stop hitting his dad, so…. I’m kind of a hero – even if I didn’t stay within the lines of morality to do it. I’m basically Batman.

 

via GIPHY

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