Today a child totally called me out when I lied to him, but in my defense, he was hitting his father to an obnoxious degree (aren’t all degrees obnoxious?) and using truth and reasoning wasn’t helping.
Me: Alright kid, this has gone on long enough. We have a very strict no-hitting policy here and if you don’t stop it, I’m going to have to put you to work.
Me: Cleaning our toilets.
Kid’s Dad: Ooooo… that sounds rough, dude.
Kid: No. You’re lying.
Me: What? I am not.
Kid: Yes you are.
And then we just stared at each other for a few moments until I turned my attention back to his dad.
Me: So anyway, you should totally read Ready, Player, One because it’s amazing.
Dad: Awesome, thank you!
I would like it to be noted, though, that the kid did stop hitting his dad, so…. I’m kind of a hero – even if I didn’t stay within the lines of morality to do it. I’m basically Batman.