It’s official: I’m becoming my father.

My parents are lively and active people. The word ‘retirement’ is akin to the most offensive of curse words in their eyes, I think. Over drinks when my dad was in town, he said: “I hate that word.” And I swear he was this close to spitting on the ground to show his disdain.

All I know is that my parents never stop working, never stop moving, and never stop partying. My dad is in his seventies and he still travels for work all the time – not because he has to, but because he wants to.

And my mom is basically Wonder Woman. She’s a very successful real estate agent, she teaches six jazzercise classes a week (the majority of them at 5:45 in the GD morning!), she has two horses that she trains and takes care of almost every day, and she cooks dinner every freaking night.

 

via GIPHY

And yet, I manage to be surprised if they don’t answer the phone when I call.

Me: I think my parents find me dull.

The Mr: Why?

Me: Neither one of them is answering their phone! Do I call too often? Are they sick of me? You know, most parents would love it if their kid just called to say hi as often as I do, but they’re totally ghosting me! Do they think I’m boring?

The Mr: Maybe they do.

Me: …thanks, babe.

And then later that night, my dad called me. HE CALLED ME.

Me, too excitedly: Hi, Dad!

Dad: Hey, how are you?

Me: Great! How are you?

Dad: Well, I’m okay. Your mom is in Chicago visiting your sister and the new baby, so I’m just sitting in the parking lot of <LOCAL RESTAURANT>, trying to decide whether or not to go in and get dinner… there are a lot of cars here, so I don’t know… or maybe I should call Nick and see if he wants to meet…. I don’t know, we’ve been hanging out a lot this week since both of our wives are out of town… maybe he’s sick of me.

The Mr: Did you see that apple just fall from that tree?

But maybe this is a good thing… because maybe it means that I’m also going to be a superhero who travels the world!

Or maybe this means my future just involves a closet full of leotards.

 

via GIPHY


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