Things have been a bit hectic this week as I continue to get settled in Stars Hollow. My life as a Gilmore Girl is off to a good start. I’ve found all the great coffee places and I’ve made many quick and under-appreciated jokes.
So, apparently this town is one of those places that random celebrities just show up to and walk around, go shopping, and eat lunch. I was told this upon my arrival, not because anyone was bragging, but because they all felt they needed to warn me. “You need to act like you have no idea who they are,” They said. “They come here for some privacy.” As if I would make some sort of a fool of myself or something. Me? Come on. I’m the freaking definition of tact.
Anyway, I kind of laughed and said “Oh, okay. Like I’m actually gonna run into some big time celebrity out here in the tiniest town in the world.”
So yesterday, I’m standing behind the counter in the bookshop, stuffing event flyers and doing other various work-related things when my co-worker comes up to me and asks “Can you think of a book about Native American history for children?”
Me: Um… not off the top of my head.
Co-worker: Hm… okay, I’ll just keep poking around.
And then I looked up and saw her walking away with this rather attractive gent (at least from behind), and I thought to myself “Huh.. that guy kind of looks like <insert major celebrity here> from behind… weird.”
And then I heard him speak. “That’s weird,” I thought, “He kind of sounds like that guy, too…”
And then about five minutes later, I see someone out of the corner of my eye walk up to the counter and I look up and make eye contact with said person who was in fact A MAJOR FRACKING CELEBRITY. My eyes locked in on his for all of half a second that felt like forever and then I felt my eyes get HUGE before I immediately looked down and continued about my business, hoping to seem like I didn’t give a shit about who this person was, but all that was going on inside my head was some form of “OH MY GOSH, THAT IS <VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY>. I AM BREATHING THE SAME AIR AS <VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY>.” over and over and over again. And then I realized that my hands were shaking. Noticeably.
Don’t worry, he totally had no idea that I knew who he was. He especially didn’t have any idea that when he left, I double checked his receipt and signature to make sure that I wasn’t hallucinating. I wasn’t. And then I spent the rest of the day texting my friends and bragging about the fact that I met this famous guy that we all love, and then I couldn’t stop talking about it with my co-worker, who had no idea who he was, which was infuriating, especially when she was all “Oh yeah, that guy! That happens a lot. Did you know that Daniel Day-Lewis was in here a few weeks ago?”
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <— MY REACTION.
The point is, I was totally respectful and quiet when this guy was standing right in front of me for a solid 10 minutes. And then he left and I creepily stalked him and shouted about it to the world. Because I’m tactful and I value people’s privacy, GOSH. Had he not been with his wife, I probably would have followed him to the nearest coffee place and tried to strike up a conversation about books, thus beginning our beautiful love story, but that bitch was all “Look, honey, the kids will love this!” and I was all “BACK OFF HE’S MINE!” …in my head. Obviously.
So then I’m telling Lemon this story and we’re chatting about this whole “celebs are among us” thing:
Me: I’m about to go to the real live version of Luke’s Diner from Gilmore Girls.
Lemon: IF there is a man in a backwards hat and/or plaid shirt… You must get picture. And I will yeep. Greater points if he is in fact an employee. Lesser if he is but a patron. If he manages or owns? You win Life.
Me: If he manages or owns I’m pursuing the hell out of him. Unless he’s old. That’s weird.
Lemon: and SUPER bonus points if <VERY FAMOUS CELEBRITY> reappears while you are there.
Me: OH MY GOSH, YES.
Lemon: … It’s like I’m creating a board game out of your life…
Me: I’m okay with it. Alright, I’m gonna head out to this cafe. Hopefully they have wifi – although, if it’s anything like Luke’s, I doubt they will.
Lemon: *insert Luke rant about the internet here* Oh, and PS — there are fewer points for Daniel Day-Lewis because, frankly, he could be *anybody*… He COULD BE the guy in the backwards hat and plaid shirt serving you coffee.
Me: Oh my gosh… that’s so true.
Lemon: Daniel Day-Lewis could be anyone at anytime around you, Emelie. Never forget that.
Now I never will.