A text exchange I recently had with my boyfriend during my lunch break:
Me: So this is a weird thing: I keep feeling slightly sick… But only at work…
Boyfriend: Well that is an interesting mystery.
Me: Right? My throat starts to get all sore and stuff.
Boyfriend: Wait, wasn’t there a problem with the heater? Did that get fixed?
Me: Yeah, it’s working now.
Boyfriend: Well I wonder if that has anything to do with the air quality of the shop since it is effecting your throat.
Boyfriend: stupid grammar…
Me: That is a face of fury. Who pouts like that?
Boyfriend: I know! Silly Apple…
Me: We should write them a strongly worded letter.
Me: Using only emojis.
Me: And then we’ll see if they can decipher it correctly.
Boyfriend: I like this plan.
Me: And then we can fork their lawn.
Boyfriend: We are going to need a lot of forks for Apple’s lawn, but that would be epicly amazing.
Me: Wouldn’t it?!? We could wear all black and do it in the middle of the night!
Me: I think it would be fun to break into major places like that and shut down their security systems all Ocean’s 11-like just for the sake of doing weird pranks.
Me: Can we be that couple?
Boyfriend: Of course we can!
Boyfriend: But we should wear mock turtlenecks and blue jeans as a sign of respect to Steve Jobs.
Me: This is why I like you.