I don’t think I’m doing this whole “sexting” thing correctly, you guys.

You know when you’re in the beginnings of a romantic interest and you do your best to make sure that the other person sees mainly all the wonderful and charming details about you? As far as you and that person are concerned, everything you do is classy and elegant and super attractive.

Unless you’re me….

A text I sent to my sister on Monday morning: I just dripped coffee on my white shirt…. attempted to clean said coffee with water. Now I have a very visible boob situation. This is my life.

At least… that’s the text I meant to send to my sister.

You see, my sister’s name happens to be listed in my phone right next to the guy that I really like…the guy that I haven’t officially met in person yet because we met online and for various legitimate reasons have not been able to actually be in the same place and the same time… anyway… in my panicked state of dealing with the clusterfuck that is me, I did not, in fact, send my sister that text. The best part? I didn’t even notice the embarrassing error of my ways until I found myself in this conversation:

Guy I Like: Lol work is not the right venue for a wet t-shirt contest. You should know these things.

My internal monologue: Oh noooooo…. That is not my sister’s name… fuuuuuuuck… Where is the nearest beach? I must go to it and bury my head deep into the sand now… Okay… just go with it. You’ll be fine.

My actual response: I’ve been shunned to the back until I can present myself in a less pornographic manner.

Guy I Like: Good PR Move.

Naturally, in my panic and shame, I texted my best friend, who for legal reasons has intelligently decided to go by the name “John Hamm” on this blog.

John Hamm: BahahahahahaAwkward Sexting

Me: Because I needed to really embarrass myself with this guy eventually, right?

John Hamm: Absolutely. Law of the universe.

Me: I haven’t even officially met this guy and I’m already sending him messages about my boobs LIKE A FLOOZY.

John Hamm: In all fairness, you meant to send your flooziness to your sister.

Me: Yes, but he doesn’t know that.

John Hamm: Did you explain that to him??

Me: No! We just went with it like it was a totally normal thing for me to send him!

John Hamm: Oh my gosh…

Me: He was all “Work is not the place for a wet t-shirt contest, Emelie” and I was all MORTIFIED.

John Hamm: That’s hilarious. You could have simply just been like “For the record…”

Me: Yes, but we both know I don’t possess that level of tact…. but I am going to tell him because I have to blog about this.

John Hamm: Yes. Yes you do.

****

In other news, I was featured on The Incredible Adventures of Malleable Mom, which is kind of awesome, so you should go check her out.

AND

There’s a new Page Break video, so you should go watch that, too.

Also, this ad is amazing and I feel the need to share it with the world, because Girl Power.

 

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30 Responses to I don’t think I’m doing this whole “sexting” thing correctly, you guys.

  1. Jessica says:

    It’s always a scary thing when you send a text to the wrong person! Well, at least he thought it was funny and seems like going with it was the best thing you could’ve done 🙂

    Jessica

  2. Amy says:

    Ha! I love that story! After reading it, it made me realize that I never worried about embarrassing myself in front of my now husband when we were dating. Then again, I don’t really worry about embarrassing myself in front of anyone lately. I am who I am, like Popeye.

    Great post. Stopping by from SITS!

  3. Emily says:

    Hahahaha! I’m no longer in the dating pool, but that never stops me from airing my awkwardness. I announced to a classroom full of students that “it has come to my attention that you can see my underwear…” I should have said nothing at all :/ Sounds to me, though, that you both handled the situation perfectly! Happy dating!

    Found you from the Sits Girls Sharefest 🙂

    • Emelie says:

      I think we’d get along just fine. The amount of times my underwear has been seen when I didn’t intend for that to be the case is disturbing.

  4. Laurie WJN says:

    Thanks so much for sharing – that is hilarious, I love it. I think we have all had similar text or e-mail mishaps. (stopping by from #sitssharefest)

  5. This is pretty much the best story. My friend sent me a text the other day that said, “That moment when you take two separate pictures, one of your cute son to send to your mom, and one of yourself in underwear to send to your husband… and you send the pictures to the wrong people.” So, at least it wasn’t that?

  6. Kitty says:

    Definitely think this has happened to everyone on one occasion! Including me. *grin* Am happy to see the guy has a sense of humor though, since blunders like that are pretty much 50/50. Seems pretty positive! 🙂

  7. Rachel G says:

    My worst nightmare is the prospect of accidentally sending an email meant for, say, my husband….or my mom, who I also say a lot of crazy stuff to….to someone who expects me to be normal…

  8. Ashley says:

    Bwahahahah! I love this. It is something I would do. Thanks for laughing at it and sharing it with us 🙂

  9. Phil says:

    Well, now you just know this guy really wants to meet you in person after that!

  10. DC Dana says:

    This was hilarious! Thank you for making me feel better about my text accidents (i.e. when Siri misheard my text to a male coworker and wrote “I’m going to be late for the sex meeting.” Oh texts…).

  11. Lisa Newlin says:

    Love it! I think it makes you more endearing and he’ll probably like you even more.

    Either way, you referenced your boobs, so you know he was happy.

  12. Ashley says:

    HA! Oh, girl – just tell him about the mix-up if it really bugs you, but that was entertaining because it is something I would do. Loved this! (P.S. malleable mom link is not working for some reason, fyi!)

    • Emelie says:

      Haha, I did tell him and he thought it was hilarious!! Thanks for the tip! I’ll fix it straight away!

      • Ashley says:

        I am sorry my link is not working – just switched providers and we hit a glitch. Should be resolved ASAP. Thanks for visiting – please come back! You can always come see me on Facebook @FlexibleFamily. Thanks for the shout out, Emelie!

  13. Sarah says:

    Wow, this is just the greatest thing ever! I too have done similar things to embarrass myself when it comes to boys. But I think you played it well like a champion 😛

  14. SmackOfHam says:

    Just found your blog through Pinterest – enjoyed the story! Good luck with the new guy – now you’ve got a funny story to share.

  15. B says:

    UGH. I’ve almost been there. The Guy I Like and my Brother In Law have the same name, so I made sure to give GIL a very different nickname in my phone!

  16. Kyla says:

    Oh no! That is indeed a very awkward situation. However, I couldn’t help but smile because I know I’ve sent texts to the wrong people before…it happens…I think the best part is how you acted like you meant to send it to him 🙂

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