Giant Wild Ninja Turkeys, Everyone. Giant. Wild. Ninja Turkeys.

Okay, so disclaimer: I do not have the reflexes of a lightning fast cheetah, so I did not capture this moment on camera. You’re just going to have to trust me that it actually happened.

I live on the second floor of an old farmhouse and my couch is positioned next to a window outside of which is the first floor rooftop, which is slanted and made of tin. This is important information.

So, I was just calmly sitting on my couch, crocheting while watching Gilmore Girls. You know, the usual.

Everything was great. The sun was still out, but it was a rainy afternoon, so my couch was, like, the best place to be ever. I even opened the window next to me so that I could enjoy the sound of the rain hitting the tin roof while I sipped my coffee and watched my fictional biography play out before me. To say it was perfection is kind of an understatement.

Oh rainy afternoon, how I love thee…

So I’m in my zone, right? I’m all “Le sigh… life is beautiful…. Gilmore Girls is the best and these fingerless gloves are going to be so cozy this fall!” and then


Hm? What? That didn’t make sense? Allow me to elaborate: I was sitting on my couch, enjoying a calm and relaxing Sunday afternoon when a WILD TURKEY LANDED ON THE ROOF RIGHT OUTSIDE OF MY WINDOW.

It was kind of like this , but replace Emily Gilmore with a giant wild turkey.

So there we were, Reginald (that’s what I named him, of course) and I, he on on my roof and me on my couch. We shared a brief glance with one another before he just flopped off the tin roof because HELLO, IT’S A SLANTED, WET TIN ROOF, REGINALD, WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? and then he gobbled away.

Even weirder is that for the next few minutes, I could hear him gobbling, but I couldn’t see him anywhere…. which leads me to believe that I’m dealing with some fucking ninja turkeys, you guys, and that’s terrifying.

Remember when I lived in Ohio and my biggest issues with nature involved bunnies eating my vegetable garden? Yeah…

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15 Responses to Giant Wild Ninja Turkeys, Everyone. Giant. Wild. Ninja Turkeys.

  1. Amanda says:

    Meanwhile on 199 yesterday (this is the other side of Stars Hollow for you non locals) the biggest snapping turtle I have ever seen in my life was sitting in the middle of the road. When I say “big,” I mean… he was tire-sized. Huge.

    And there he was, on a lazy Labor Day afternoon.

    Chilling in the middle of Roxbury Road.

    Totally unmoved by aggressively oversteering cars avoiding him left and right. Just after a blind turn.

    We stopped traffic and moved him to the side of the road eventually – but not without him wildly flailing about and snapping at us like an angry drunk.

    And this being Connecticut, five drivers had to exit while two people precariously picked him up with shovels and three people snapped Instagram photos.

  2. Carrie Rubin says:

    Guess we’ll call you the Turkey Whisperer from now on…

  3. Rachel G says:

    Dang, how’d he get up there? Turkeys aren’t usually known for being on top of roofs…crazy turkeys in your neck of the woods…

  4. Jean says:

    When you type things like this I wish you lived so much closer. You made me laugh with your turkey stories. Oh and GG. I hope he comes back often and

    I get you girl. Shine on.

  5. So freaky!! Lol, how did it get up there? I thought turkeys couldn’t fly. Hmm.. maybe it’s hunting you?

    Oh well, there goes dinner!
    -Sierra ♥

  6. B says:

    LOL This sounds hilarious! I hope you see him again!

  7. Roxie says:

    Isn’t there a movie out, about the teenaged ones?

  8. Xae says:

    I love your life! Can I borrow it for a day?
    I see your instagram and blog pictures and see where you live and think to myself “le sigh…isn’t her life beautiful?”
    In case Reginald visits again, keep a camera set up at the window…all the time!

  9. Desiree says:

    I’m going to agree with you that this was indeed a ninja turkey. I’ve come across a couple of wild turkeys in my like but I’ve never heard of them being up in high places. Maybe next time you can catch a pic of Reginald in action.

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