Because I’m growing up and starting to think about boring things like my health and overall well-being and whatnot, I’ve been trying to take better care of my skin. And apparently, skincare is not a simple thing. I used to think it was all about lotion and sunscreen and general good hygiene, but oh no. No, now there are 10-step Korean skin care routines that involve serums and scrubs and oils and cleansers that are and are not oil-based and OH MY GOD WHEN DO KOREANS HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING OTHER THAN CARE FOR THEIR SKIN???
Time aside, my biggest problem is a little more frustrating. I have a dog.
Some of you might be thinking “What the hell does your dog have to do with your skin care routine?” Stay with me.
Gio is a Husky. And you know what huskies have? A crap-ton of fur. Seriously, we’ve filled grocery bags by just brushing his one leg.
So my apartment is furry. Constantly. We try our best to manage it, but it’s basically just a perpetual cycle of vacuuming to make room for more fur.
And you know what happens when you put lotion on? YOUR BODY GETS SO STICKY. And when you have a sticky body it attracts mass amounts of dog fur and then you end up looking like some weird, poorly constructed werewolf mid-transition. It’s unfortunate.
So now I have a choice to make: Moisturize and have better, healthier skin or don’t become a werewolf.
Although, now that I’m thinking about it, I could use this to my advantage. I could moisturize my body, wait for all the fur that is everywhere to find me, and then go roam the streets at night, terrifying this quiet sleepy town…. of course now that I’ve posted this, our town will actually get attacked by a real werewolf and everyone will think it’s me and now just by trying to have healthier skin, I’ve doomed myself to a lifetime of pitchforks and angry villagers!
So what do I do? Do any of you have this issue? If so, what do you do? Because I can’t spend my life fighting off angry mobs, you guys, but also, my forehead lines are out of control.