But then I realized that it was Friday the 13th and all of this seemed normal

Well hello there, friends! I’m sorry for my bloggy absence this past weekend, but activities took over and my brain couldn’t handle putting words out by the end of it all. Sometimes we all need a little, unplanned break, don’t we?

One of those activities was a visit with my good friend, The Delightful R, who took the train in from Manhattan to New Haven where I met her. We hadn’t seen one another since my wedding, so we were long overdue for an actual conversation.

Three ridiculous moments happened:

1. While eating a slice of Avocado Toast I stated without any irony at all, “We just want to own a house. That is seriously all we want right now.” In my defense, that Avocado Toast also came with a fried egg on top and it was only $4.50, so… #MillennialMoment

2. We went to a restaurant, and our waiter came out and handed us the wine list and I said “Thank you so much” just as he stated what his name was, so all I heard was “My name is Zafefefefefe whenever you need anything else.”

Because R and I knew that this couldn’t really be his name, we were never really able to flag him down without just doing that awkward maneuver where you just wide-eye in any direction trying to make eye contact with anyone in an apron so that you can get more bread because WHY IS THE BREAD TO CHEESE RATIO ALWAYS SO OFF???

via GIPHY

And at one point, we tried to flag Zafefefefefe down, and we literally saw him FLEE THE RESTAURANT.

We eventually did get more bread and Zafefefefefe did return, but when he handed us our bill, it turned out his name was Anthoni.

3. Because we’re ladies who had long journeys home after our wine and cheese, we needed to use the restroom at this restaurant. The restroom was down the hall, right next to the kitchen, and it was a single, so I let R go first while I waited patiently outside the door. Like a normal person.

THREE TIMES, different dudes came out of the kitchen and asked me “Did you try the door handle?” and then they would jiggle the handle as I said “YES I DID THERE IS SOMEONE IN THERE I KNOW HOW TO USE A DOOR,” but in a slightly more polite tone maybe? Maybe not. It became increasingly frustrating.

By the time R came out I was like “I SWEAR THAT WASN’T ME TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE DOOR,” and I’m not sure I’ve ever experienced that bizarre level of mansplaining before… Either way, I almost forgot entirely about the weird door behavior because as soon as I entered the bathroom I was HORRIFIED. The wall opposite the toilet was just one giant mirror, so I was forced to just stare at myself while I peed. LIKE A NIGHTMARE.

And this isn’t even including the bit where we got kicked out of a cemetery… sigh… other stories for other times.


In other news, the giveaway from last week’s blog post is still going on. You should partake!


This blog is able to remain ad-free because of the awesome community of Awkward Ambassadors on Patreon. If you’d like to become an Awkward Ambassador and receive special perks (like exclusive vlogs or messages from my dog), please click here.

This entry was posted in Ramblings and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *