And then the Internet happened.

I was skyping with my dear friend Pixie Stick last night, and she was telling me about how she went on a date with a guy she met online.

Me: Wow, really? You’re doing the whole internet dating thing now?

Pixie Stick: Well, Emelie… I was home and a little drunk the other night and I thought “Why not?”

Me: Interesting… which site?

She told me and I went onto the site to check out her selection, and that’s when I discovered why the Internet is a wonderful and scary place… yet again. I ended up writing down mine and Pixie Stick’s greatest comments while window shopping for men (the way that God intended it.) Enjoy!:


“Who are these people and why would he choose a picture of himself with a dead fish?”

“Oh, here’s another one of a guy with a dead fish!!! Except this guy is hot.”

“Oh my gawd that fish is HUGE.”

“”I don’t think anyone can beat this ‘fix-it’ guy… He looks like a Norse god who wandered down from the mountains and into the pizzeria.”

“See? It’s cool when you do internet dating with somebody else, but it’s weird when you do it alone… Like… sex.”

“Oh no, another dead fish! Except it’s a child!” … “Wait….WHAT?”

“Wait!! He was kidnapped in Amsterdam by the Romanian mafia!!”

“Well.. now the internet will think I am a lesbian.”

“I feel better now that I know he’s the mascot and not the guy with the boner.”

“His career is science!!”

“What is that, a selfie in a mall?”

This guy is in the military… oh but he’s only 5’6″ … “He probably has a Napoleon complex”

“This guy is wearing a hooters shirt at the beach…”

“This is just a picture of David Beckham!” … “Are you sure it’s not actually David Beckham?”

“He looks very surprised that someone photgraphed him v-jaying on his laptop.”

“Why is he covered in blood?!?”


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15 Responses to And then the Internet happened.

  1. Sans L'amant says:

    Hi Emelie! If you’re interested in awkward and maybe profound internet-planned dating adventures, then you’ll love my blog! Check it out! I’ve only just started, but I’d love to share my experience with you!

  2. Phil says:

    Be afraid! Be vey afraid! I have a lot of friends that have done the internet dating thing. Some hysterical and some really bad dating experiences. Just weed out the creepers!

  3. Loving the conversation snippets!

  4. Beth Teliho says:

    Love it! so funny. dead fish, eh? Is that a new trend or something? I would be terrified to internet date! too many scammers. I don’t trust people enough. but there are a ton of happy stories, so who knows??

  5. RageMichelle says:

    HAHAHA…oh man..I’m glad I don’t have to worry about dating..

  6. Meredith says:

    Hilarious. And, please tell me someone wasn’t REALLY covered in blood???

  7. Come on people everyone knows the path to a woman’s heart is through dead fish. That’s like dating 101.

  8. bahaha this is just the laugh I needed today! There is hope, I promise … after many a bad, short-lived coffee date, I found the man I am going to marry on a dating website <3

  9. Kita says:

    Lol this was hilarious I found my hubs on the internet back in 2011 I sometimes question him even after all these years if maybe I should put him back where I found him and left him there. Stopping over from SITS

  10. Yes, one should NEVER be left to internet date along – I tried it for a bit, ehhhhhhh, didn’t end well. This made me laugh!

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