And Once Again, My Mother, Ladies and Gentlemen…

So last night I was sitting at home and relaxing with some Netflix and my dog. It was perfect.

And then I went to wash my face.

“Why do my eyes look different?” I thought to myself. And then I realized that it wasn’t that my eyes look different, it’s that MY FACE IS FRAKING SWOLLEN AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHY.

So, I immediately texted my mother (because that’s what you do in any emergency, and yes I count this as an emergency.), who is visiting my sister and niece in Chicago, which prompted this phone call:

Me: Hello?

Mom: What happened?

Me: I have no idea.

Mom: Is it allergies?

Me: I’ve never had an allergy! Why don’t you know that? All I did today was go to work and eat mac and cheese!

Mom: Weird… Do you have some Benadryl?

Me: No…and everything’s closed right now.

Mom: Alright, well… if it’s still like that in the morning, go get some Benadryl and go to the doctor.

Me: I don’t even know where there is a doctor… I’ve never needed one out here. I’M A CHILD.

Mom: Good God, Emelie…

Me: Anyway, how is Chicago?

Mom: Good. The baby has a fever.


Mom: Well, your sister and I are fine. We’re just hanging out and drinking wine.

Me: Oh, maybe that’s my issue. I was out of wine tonight. Maybe I’m having an allergic reaction to not having wine.

Mom: You’re out of wine?!?!

Me: I know… I have failed you.

Mom: Well, that’s obviously the problem. You need to fix that. Put that on your shopping list for tomorrow, too: Wine and Benadryl.

Sister in the background: What??? DON’T LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!!!

Me: Mom, you give the best advice.

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15 Responses to And Once Again, My Mother, Ladies and Gentlemen…

  1. Rachel says:

    I adore you mother in the sort of way that one adores someone one has only seen once in passing but hears about all the time.
    ….Additional note: It sounds like our mothers should get together.

  2. Roxie says:

    Wine and Benadryl; the breakfast of champions! 🙂

  3. Kim says:

    My mom would have said the same thing. Get some wine and Benadryl and I’ll be fine. Since stores are open until at least 11 here and convenience stores are open all night, I’d be out the door in no time.

  4. Lisa Newlin says:

    OMG! What was it? I hope you didn’t get shingles just from texting with me and reading my blog. Hopefully it is just your body’s reaction to not having enough wine.

    I hope you learned a valuable lesson.

    • Emelie says:

      I still have no idea!!! It’s just swollen, but no other symptoms. If this is because of my lack of wine consumption, I will never go a day without it again!

  5. Alex says:

    Your mother is right and sounds fantastic.

    Allergies suck. You might not know unless you get tested… and then it could be something like ragweed. :/ Enjoy your meds and feel better!

  6. Joaquin says:

    That is the best advice EVER! Can I adopt your mother for the day? 😛

  7. Jen says:

    I love this! I still call my mom for everything and I’m a mom myself. Did you take any meds by chance? This happened to me twice and I figured out it was caused by Ibuprofen. Now I can only take Tylenol.

  8. Xae says:

    I love reading posts with your mom in them!
    Also, are you okay now? What was it?

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