Mom: I just found your old bank checks that you lost a few months ago.
Me: Seriously?! Where??
Mom: In a laundry hamper in the upstairs hall closet.
Mom: Yeah, that makes total sense, right? I’m actually finding a lot of interesting things!
Me: Whatever it is, I’m holding it for a friend.
Mom: The packet of ribbed condoms, too? Darn, I was gonna take those! Hahaha
Me: Ew! What?!?!
Mom: They were inside a big winter glove. Probably a gag gift, right?
Me: Well, at least we know the gloves are having safe sex.
Mom: Hahaha – The poor thing doesn’t have a partner, though!
Me: Aw, so lonely! And yes, my friend gave them out as a gag gift a few years ago. I completely forgot about those.
Mom: Nice!This is the fun part about my kids moving away. I get to go through all their sh-t… Good God, how many hats did you knit?!
Me: They kept me from needing the condoms.