Monthly Archives: July 2013

Moses Parted The Red Sea So That The Little Mermaid Could Strip… To Pay Her Way Through College… Obviously.

So, um… This exists Duckies… this is an abandoned underwater strip club. It’s location? The Red Sea. Whaaaaaat??? I know! Moses parted the red sea, helped his people out of Egypt, and now Ariel is stripping there. Or she was. … Continue reading

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I’m a Total Lady Douchebag

It’s true, duckies. Yesterday, I was all “I’m totally going to post today” and then guess what I didn’t end up doing…. I have a good reason, though! You see, episode 3 of Awkwardly Wonderful Dating Advice was supposed to … Continue reading

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And Then I Vlogged About My Phone Voice

That’s right, Duckies – today I’m doing a Vlog. So… enjoy the awkwardness that is me on camera, because there’s so much of it that it hurts sometimes… I’m not calling myself fat or anything… it was the mass amount … Continue reading

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It Wouldn’t Be My Life If A Simple Visit to the Vet Didn’t Turn Into Something Ridiculous.

Happy Hump Day, Duckies!! Today is about my dog, Gio. You’ve all met him, right? Anyway, so he was due for his yearly rabies shot and other vaccines to make sure he doesn’t turn into some crazy beast and go … Continue reading

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And Then My Mom Gave Me “Medical” Advice.

So, last night I was wearing a skirt while a few of us were sitting outside on the patio, drinking some wine and enjoying a fire. It was actually quite a lovely evening, especially since it was the first time … Continue reading

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Dear Diary: What Has Greg Been Up To? Part 2.

Read Part 1 Here So, this week, it’s all about the Return of Greg!! Let’s get right to it, shall we? Dear Diary: I’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same room together. Coincidence? I think not, Diary! Dear … Continue reading

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Dear Diary: What Has Greg Been Up To??? AKA The Return of Dear Diary: Greg! Part 1.

GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. GUYS. GUYS.  GREG. MADE. CONTACT.  YES. THAT GREG. AS IN, DEAR DIARY: GREG. Okay, I’ll try and stop freaking out. I know that most of you loved Greg just as much as we do, but for those of … Continue reading

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I’m Back. Your Life Can Resume Now.

Duckies, STOP PANICKING!! I’m alive. I’m really sorry that I took a random, totally unannounced week off from the Internet, but my family came to town, and let me say to all of you mommy bloggers that I have MASSIVE … Continue reading

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Why Bunnies Are Assholes – A Sequel

So, I’ve been giving this whole “Bunnies are Assholes” thing a lot of thought ever since my post about how forest creatures are freeloading off of me and stealing all my food. I began to analyze all the famous bunnies, … Continue reading

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How Do I Adult?

Okay, so earlier this week, I went to go write my rent check and when I opened up my check book, there were NO MORE CHECKS. “NOOOOOO!!!” Yes. So then I was all “okay, this is fine. Time to refill … Continue reading

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