Awkwardly Alive and Pleasantly Peculiar

A blog about my many awkward and embarrassing moments in life.

Well, Now I Just Have Too Much Butter – Or, Why Paying For Food is Stupid.

| 4 Comments

Good morning, readers!

I hope you are all enjoying your day so far.

I’m out of coffee, so I’m starting my day off with a nice cup of hot cocoa – which I am so not hating. If there wasn’t the lack of caffeine, I might start my day like this every day… Oh wait, isn’t that what a mocha is for? Eh, now it all sounds like too much work.

The other day, Dragon took me grocery shopping, because I had a lot of very generous tippers at the restaurant this week, so I decided I should treat myself to more than just the essentials. The problem is that I really don’t go grocery shopping that often. I go to the store when I need to go to the store, but I don’t stock up on stuff for long-term feeding. This is why I need Dragon, a grocery-shopping-deal-finding master, to take me. Here is a sample of our conversations:

Me: Oooo, can I get these?

Dragon: What? Are you kidding? Those are like 5 dollars a pound! You should never pay that much.

Me: But I want them…

Dragon: Not at that price you don’t.

 

Dragon: Do you want broccoli?

Me: Um… I guess?

Dragon: Well you’re a vegetarian, isn’t that one of the best things for you?

Me: Um… I guess?

Dragon: Fine. Don’t get broccoli.

Me: No, wait! I’ll get it!

Dragon: Actually… now that I’m looking at it, none of it looks very good… Don’t get broccoli.

Me: Oh, but now I want broccoli…

Dragon: Too bad. Sucks to be a vegetarian in the winter. Hey, look at all that yummy meat!

Me: >:(

 

Me: But I don’t need Cheez-Its.

Dragon: Yes you do, you never have snacks, plus these are on sale.

Me: Because they’re such a waste of money! You just eat them and then they are gone.

Dragon: Yes.. as with all food…

 

Dragon: [loading groceries in the car] Are you okay?

Me: [staring blankly into the abyss] I just spent so much money on stuff I don’t need…

Dragon: No, you need this. It’s food.

 

Dragon: [putting groceries away at home] Oh, it looks like we accidentally bought two packs of butter.

Me: Can we return one and get my money back?!

Dragon: What? No. It’s butter. You always use butter. Plus, that would only be like… two bucks.

Me: I could do use two dollars…

Dragon: For what?

Me: I DON’T KNOW, NOT BUTTER!

 

And that is the story of how I cannot cope with spending large amounts of money on myself. Although, I will admit that it was really nice to be able to just cook myself dinner last night without having to go anywhere to pick something up… and I can do that again tonight, too! Oh no.. I’m becoming accustomed to this new lifestyle… This could end terribly.

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4 thoughts on “Well, Now I Just Have Too Much Butter – Or, Why Paying For Food is Stupid.

  1. Grocery shopping is the only place where I don’t think twice at spending $75 in one trip! In fact, I usually think I did pretty well keeping it under a hundred. That being said, I go shopping about twice a month and buy a lot of dry beans, diced tomatos, pasta and rice. It’s like driving on that last gallon of gas and seeing juuuust how far you can push it before you absolutely have to buy some more.

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