So I went out to Providence, RI yesterday for a conference and on the 2.5 hour drive back something weird happened. So, I obviously texted people about it as soon as I got home. One of those people was a friend of mine who has decided to call himself “The Professor” on this blog.
Me: I made it home. Almost got murdered, but I’m good.
The Professor: Oh gosh. You okay?
Me: Yeah. Someone was tailing me on the highway, and then they got off the highway when I did and kept tailing me, so I felt like they were maybe following me, right? And THEN I remembered this one movie I saw about some murderers who legit just picked a random car that they were driving behind and decided to follow that guy home and murder him. You know, for kicks. So I was all “This is it. This is how I die.” But then I pulled into my driveway and they kept going.
The Professor: Yeah, that is spooky… Maybe they were just marking your house…for later.
Me: Oh gosh. They’re so coming back…
The Professor: Yep. Make sure Gio is on alert.
Me: Ugh… so murder avoided… for now.
The Professor: Lol. I’m sure you’re okay. Stars Hollow is essentially crimeless.
Me: You can’t make assumptions like that, Professor. You’ve never even been here. Don’t act like you know us. We can murder if we want to.
The Professor: Ok fine. You are going to get murdered. Get a baseball bat. Or pepper spray. Or a gun. I was raised by republicans, I can help you with that.
Me: No thanks. I’ve decided that if someone ever really breaks into my house to murder me, I’ll just talk to them and accept my fate, whatever it may be.
The Professor: That’s very kind of you.
Me: I’ll be like “Dude, let me make you some coffee and let’s just chat this out.” … Or Gio will kill them.
The Professor: That’s kind of cute in a terrible “she’s going to die being so friendly” sort of way.
Me: That’s how I always thought I’d go…